I hear this word so often. People talk about how they struggle toward some accomplishment, struggle to communicate, struggle to improve and so on and on and on. Whenever I hear this word, my brain stops as I try to understand what it means. What do people mean when they say they struggle? I know that it feels difficult, but why are things difficult? I go through difficult times and situations often enough, but I just can’t relate to this word struggle. Help me out here.
Like everything, I think, struggle is a matter of perception and energy. I have been there (in struggle) and I have been here (open to possibility) and I have been in the waxing and waning of both. Do we go with what is and understand that life is clear and easy if we allow ourselves to be present and open? Or do we push, resist, want, and perceive life through a negative lens? The victim mentality starts to feel good when things aren’t going ‘our way.’ We can pass it off as not being our fault or feel oppressed to justify our anger and sense of lack. But when we feel like things aren’t going ‘our way,’ it really begs the question ‘what is our way?’ Most people don’t really know the answer to this question. I guess I would describe it as a shift in focus. Rather than concentrating on an external reality or goal that we have not reached, it is a shift to the mentality that we have everything we need right now and endless opportunities to create what we want.
Creativity- yes. It’s as simple as my children wanting activities that suit their interests in a way that the masses are not providing. They have specific interests and want them met in a more technical, grown-up way than most classes geared for children their age. I spent quite a while searching, waiting, and lamenting the lack of opportunities. I recently had a mental breakthrough. I don’t know how or why but I decided to step out of my comfort zone and help my children create them. We all know people who know people. And people love helping people. John Strelecky, author and motivational speaker, opened my eyes to the clarity and wisdom of this. So here we go! My daughter and I have organized an art show for local homeschoolers/unschoolers in the DFW area at a coffee shop. Turns out all I had to do was ask! I had the support of a local grown unschooler who flows in the DFW art world. My hope for a one-night affair is a 2-4 week installation with the ability for the kids to both display and sell their art! My son has started a Live Action Role Play group, sharing his passion for medieval fantasy costuming, weaponry, and role play with others in a way that is usually reserved for adults. Victimization and creation are both powerful mentors.
I am enjoying thinking about ‘what is our way?’ as I think you may have nailed this feeling of struggle… the feeling of things not going ‘our way.’ It’s also giving me crystal clarity on why I can’t relate to the word or energy of struggle. In my (self-designed) world, EVERYTHING that happens to me, every person I meet, every thought I have, every situation I find myself in is there or occurs because I asked it to be there or occur. EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. Because I live every moment of my life with this reality, everything is always going my way! Even when something dark and negative or even downright bad happens to me, I am fully aware that it occurred because I asked it to occur. In the simple comfort and clarity of knowing this, I am always in a place of being able to immediately – or whenever I want to – ask myself “why did I ask for this?” and receive an answer that only I can give myself. When I receive the answer, and I always do, I can then those to learn from it, change my life so I don’t need to ask for this again, reflect and alter my thought or action processes, etc. No struggle, just opportunity to commune with oneself and learn or change or evolve or … remain stagnant and frustrated and angry. And sometimes that happens too, although much less now that it used to… years ago. Life is good!
You touch on something important here that is tough for many to own. Whether cultivated by religion, co-dependent relationships, the sense of having to play someone else’s game, or other, it can be difficult or impossible for people to own their experiences as personal attraction. “It’s God’s will,” “shit luck,” “fate,” someone else’s fault…. we’re full of reasons why things aren’t going ‘our way’ when, in reality, they always are! When we play the victim, resist, deny, and blame, that is struggle. When we own our experiences and flow with and recognize opportunities, we have choice, control, and clarity.
Life is supposed to be simple, and it’s as simple as this: we each create our own world, period. What we choose to allow in, what we put out into the world, how we choose to perceive ourselves and others are all individual decisions… yes, decisions. There are no victims. I realize this is particularly difficult to understand with regard to infants and children who have illness, disease, disability, abuse in their lives yet it is true for them as well. That doesn’t mean that we can’t help or empathize, etc. – we do make our own decisions about this as with everything else in life. Why would a child (or anyone, for that matter) choose to experience life with what we consider to be a negative state of dysfunction or dis-ease? When you find yourself in such a state, ask yourself “why did I ask for this?” and listen for the answer. It will present itself in the form of intuition, a flash of insight, a clear response – but you will receive your answer. Contemplate the answer and decide whether you wish to change your current situation. This is how I live.
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