Are you jealous? Do you feel discomfort when your partner develops a bond with another or when your child prefers the company of another over you? Do you feel envious when a friend achieves exuberant success or lands a welcome windfall of money, love or opportunity? We live in a world that not only views jealousy and envy as commonplace, but natural and a part of life. What’s up with that? Why is discomfort so accepted and supported?
To be unhappy or discontented with who you are and what you are is at the root of envy. You think you want to be more like someone else with more education, stuff, position or beauty. Perhaps you want to be more giving, more spiritual, more connected to heart. You know you want to be something that you are not. Who are you and why are you uncomfortable with that?
Understanding who you are, not who you want to be, is the challenge we all are faced with. Such understanding requires freedom from any and all desire to be someone else or want what someone else has. It requires removing yourself from any desire to change yourself into someone you are not.
I remember years ago when I was part of a few women’s groups and one of the things most of the women enjoyed doing was dancing. While I loved and still do love the women, I never felt comfortable dancing. I thought something was wrong with me, that I was repressing my inner dancer somehow, that I needed fixing and a dance evolution of sorts. So I tried dancing with them. I tried to teach myself to “let go” and become a dancer. I thought I was improving myself, and wondering why the dancing wasn’t allowing me to feel good… if dancing was good for me. Fortunately, I gave up the experiment in dance before too long, listening to my inner guidance system instead which told me what I already knew: I don’t express myself in dance, I express myself in other ways that feel right and good and connected. I can appreciate and respect the dance moves of my friends and others and feel the love and energy they share with it. Period. I don’t have to feel less than just because I don’t relate to dancing as an expression of who I am.
The desire to change oneself breeds envy and jealously. The desire to understand oneself however, allows for the authentic transformation of who and what you are as your unobstructed heart center very naturally allows you to flow to your deepest and most passionate expressions.
We live in a world that challenges and supports us, at every turn, to be different than who and what we are. We are taught to always be striving for something that we are not. Taught to seek education that does not satisfy our heart, to form relationships that get us somewhere or look good or will have us networking with the right people. Taught to follow the dictates of gurus or spiritual leaders or gods, taught to eat foods that are good and not bad, to work hard and give up more of our pleasures to get ahead, blah, blah, blah. There is no end to the ways we allow ourselves to be manipulated, all in the name of living up to another’s idea of what is right and true.
I sit outside and watch for hours sometimes at the incredible beauty of an oak tree, the 50 different kinds of edible greens in my garden, the birds as they swoop through, the lizards as they sun themselves or study and capture ants, the butterflies as they drift through the air. These are all perfect beings that understand how life is meant to be lived. They are born with an intelligence that guides them to right action. They understand how to nurture themselves and thrive.
We too are born with perfect wisdom. Why don’t we act like it?