Home. It’s a sacred place, or at least I want it to be. A place where I always feel comfortable, loved, welcome. A place that is a retreat for my mind, body and soul. A place to rest, rejuvenate and feel fully alive, all at the same time. For me, my whole world is my home.
Sometimes I fall out of alignment with this feeling of home. I am in conflict with those I share my home with, I feel cluttered with unwanted noise and busy activity or thoughts and actions that have me feeling more like I want to avoid home than retreat to it. What to do? I can get sucked into the maelstrom of doing battle or proving I’m right or retaliation or other game playing. This always spirals out of control as those I share home with withdraw, rebel or retaliate in their own ways. Negative energy and action never pays off. I might feel like I’ve won when my voice is louder or I use my age or size or experience to control others. The heartfelt satisfaction and longterm benefits never materialize, however. I cannot change anyone except myself.
I’ve learned over years of practice with this that the only way to effect positive change in my home is by committing to upgrading myself. Personal upgrade always requires a connection to the essence of self respect and self love. How can I change my thoughts or actions in ways that allow me to feel a greater degree of personal responsibility, integrity and genuine goodness? It matters not what others are doing in the household or what choices they are making or how disruptive they are. I can’t change any of that. I can only change myself.
When I am faced with the discomfort of negative energy of any kind, whether it’s in the home or elsewhere in my life, I first ask myself “why did I ask for exposure to this situation or for it to take place in my life?” Sometimes it takes a bit of time to open myself to the answer that feels right and true, but I always get a powerful answer. I then have an opportunity to be grateful for the experience of becoming aware of my increasing clarity and the challenge this contrast brings. Now I have the added opportunity of realigning myself with what really feels right and true to me: self respect and self love. It’s through the embodiment of these two devotions that all the best things happen: I am able to reconnect with myself and my highest wishes and abilities, I am able to love genuinely and without reservation, speak from my heart, and, powerfully, watch as others in my life who do not share my renewed, feel good alignment fall to the wayside… like magic. I never have to confront them or cast them out. My home is restored.
Some of the ways such magic has manifested itself in my life include simple things like an invitation from a friend to do something or go somewhere, an invitation for my child to spend the night elsewhere or take another family’s trip, a phone call from someone who has me laughing, a book or article or conversation or intuition that comes into my radar that addresses exactly what I am wanting to confront in myself… to bigger, much more dramatic magic such as when the person you are feeling out of alignment with takes a new job or moves or creates a conflict with you that leaves you both in agreement that it’s over.
Life is mysterious. It can be confusing, enormously challenging and downright difficult. All the external variables in life – the people, places and things – are always in a dynamic state of change. I want this so that my life is interesting and dynamic as well. I can’t predict what or how interactions will play out. I can’t control any of it. The only thing, anytime or anywhere, that I have any hope of controlling is myself. If my goal is to embody and enjoy the actions and feelings of divine love, connection and radical fulfillment, my energy is always best spent learning how to achieve these; learning how to better and more deeply connect with my soulful essence. The only one who can do that is me. No one is responsible for my thoughts, feeling and actions except me. No one can change them except me. I am responsible for my own alignment with what feels good, right and true. I have learned that my home will restore itself to its full vitality and inspired comfort when I have succeeded.