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Successful then Happy or Happy then Successful?

A whole lotta folks talk about happiness being the goal of a good life. I am part of that camp. It feels awesome to be happy: when I’m happy I feel joy, relaxation, contentment, fulfillment, stimulation and in a state of flow all at the same time. When I am unhappy I feel anxiety, fear, anger or just in a quandary, unsettled. How to achieve this magnificent state of happiness?

While some mystic and guru types believe that a happiness state is achieved by simply not thinking, surrendering to another, being present in the moment, I have found this to be hogwash. I have found happiness that I can tap into anytime, under all situations, through a process of knowing myself. Sure, my happiness is on a graduated scale from small to monstrous and will vary sometimes dramatically, but knowing I am capable of tapping into it, connecting with that feeling of happiness, no matter what, keeps me grounded with myself – the core of who I am, what feels good and what’s important.

Knowing myself is the heart of happiness. Living true to who I am delivers happiness every time. Feeling grounded and solid in the essence of who I am and not in what others expect of me, what culture dictates is acceptable, what the world defines as success or achievement, allows me to relax and take extraordinary comfort in the ability to trust myself: as I move through life’s never-ending experiences, challenges, diversity and doldrums, as I allow every cell of my body to speak to me about how I am feeling, what feels right and true for me and what does not, I flow with my inner guidance that invites me to find and connect with the radiance that is happiness.

In a state of happiness, life is magic. Doors open, opportunities present themselves, love flows easily, new and positive friendships are made, I sleep great. This is how I have come to know that happiness is a worthy goal of a good life.

How to know oneself? Begin with any moment. Slow down enough to feel how your body feels. What is it telling you? Ask your body how it feels and prepare to listen. Ask your body what you can do to feel better, to feel wonderful: sleep more? sleep less? work less or more? remove yourself from a relationship? seek a new one? say yes to more sex? less? eat more or less? eat differently? slow down or speed up? There are no right answers because you are different from everyone else on the planet. The only things that matter are between you and you. Connect with the messages your core being is ready to send you every time you ask. Experiment, discover, learn, grow, become responsible, and trust – yourself. All good things come from your profound connection with yourself.

5 Comments Post a comment
  1. Love this, Barb. It’s so freeing to acknowledge that none of us are the same and there is no “right” or “wrong” way to be. We will get different messages about what we need nearly every time we ask, because we and the energy around us is constantly changing. And whether it’s being in the moment or eating strawberry ice cream, if we listen with our hearts and third eyes, and then open ourselves to the energy that is always available to us, we always get exactly what we need. Beautiful.

    September 25, 2012
  2. Dear Barb,

    I love the idea of listening to our body to know what we should do – I agree that it gives us the right hints.

    However, more theoretically, have you thought about where this happiness comes from? More figuratively: if our body can tell us if we are where we should be, or if we should move more right or more left to get there, what is it that constitutes this place of happiness? What is it that we know when we “know ourselves”? I would like to say: it means knowing our values and living in alignment with them. Would you agree? Or would you rather refute theory and say, it really is in this body knowledge only?

    And, Barb, will you go on blogging? I think I’m not the only one desperate for the next post and I really hope you are well and have just taken a break for the joy of it!

    All the best,

    March 15, 2013
    • I bet you already knew that I think about this, of course I do. Where do values come from? Are you born with them? Are they learned? Do they change? I believe all three of these are true, depending upon the value. It is only in our sensory bodily feelings however, that give us access to the truth of what is important, right and true for us. We are all different, even within the same family, within identical twin relationships even, and what we determine our values, boundaries and truths are develop uniquely and powerfully for each of us. This is a big discussion so keep it up if you want and I will too.

      Yes, the blog energy deflated and I have recently been feeling it expand again. I am feeling the tug to come back. Thanks for your interest and support.

      March 15, 2013
      • Dear Barb,
        I’m delighted to hear that your blog energy is in the rise again!
        I started discussing values a lot in my own (new!) blog – I invite you cordially to have a look, if you feel like it!
        All the best,

        April 2, 2013
  3. Hi there! This post couldn’t be written much better! Reading through this post reminds me of my previous roommate! He always kept preaching about this. I will send this article to him. Fairly certain he’ll have a very good read.
    Many thanks for sharing!

    August 4, 2013

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