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Posts tagged ‘expectations’

Rethinking New Year’s Resolutions


I am madly in love with this time of year. The holidays are over, the house is cleaned up and decorations are put away, the energy feels fresh and alive and I am ready. It would never occur to me however to make a New Year’s resolution as my culture invites me to do.

Resolutions are fraught with the weight of shoulds, guilt, promises I am afraid I cannot keep. Why would I put myself through this? It doesn’t feel good!

Instead, what works marvelously for me, is holding a silent dialogue with my personal universe that goes something like this: I am ready for new information, I am ready for change, I am ready for upgrade in whatever form it looks like. I am open to everything that is coming my way that will facilitate my change and upgrade.

In fact, I don’t do this just at this time of year, but many times a year, whenever I feel in need of a shift, a change, an upgrade. I have stopped being amazed at how quickly this little exercise works for me. Within seconds, minutes, hours, or days, I am exposed serendipitously to new people, books, articles, conversations, ‘random’ information that catches my eyes or ears, causing me to think or act in slight or dramatically different ways, ways that give me that glorious feeling of having learned, of having achieved an upgrade in my life. Now THAT feels good.

Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. ~ Hal Borland



For much of my life, I felt resistance at this time of year. Angst about what goals to have for the upcoming year. Wondering if I achieved the expectations I had set for the year before or disappointed that I hadn’t made any so there was no gauge. It’s the version of life where there is a beginning and end, always a goal to be won… or lost. Something to prove… to ourselves or others. The feeling that we’re not where we should or could be… that we could be ‘better.’ You know what feels amazing? Knowing that I’m exactly where I am. Not where I should be, could be, or was. I’m exactly as I am. And there is always room for upgrade in my heart, mind, and life.

And, yes, I feel that way all year. It is a continued practice to honor myself and my journey. The New Year has not ever resonated with me as a time to press reset or begin again – ‘out with the old’ and all that. I am a work in progress- always! The shifting of gears began several years ago when I opted out of the resolution cycle. I meditated instead to find a word that felt powerful and necessary for my changing self at that time. Some I can remember off-hand that I’ve played with are ‘honor,’ ‘trust,’ and ‘truth.’ They change as I feel I’ve incorporated the meanings of these words (as they pertain to me, my experiences, my thought processes) into my SELF. I recently have a new one-word mantra and it feels exciting and fun – a new game of upgrading and consciousness for me!

Rethinking Everything- PARENT

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