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Posts tagged ‘happy family’

Learning to Be Alone

“If we don’t teach our children to be alone, they will only know how to be lonely.”Sherry Turkle is credited with saying this and I was magnificently struck by the profundity of it when I read it awhile back. I’ve given it lots of thought and the wisdom of it has settled in a comfortable and, I think, permanent place in my psyche.

What does it mean to be lonely? Read more


What do I need to live? What do I really need? Food, water, air – ok, I get that, duh. I believe I also need love. What does this mean, I need love? Sure, it feels good to know that there are folks in the world that love me, whenever they love me. This is not what I’m talking about though, because love from others cannot only be fleeting, but if I believe I need such love, then I am dependent upon that love. And the only dependence that feels right and true for me is dependence upon myself: on my ability to meet my needs, listen to myself, act according to my highest wishes, and yes, love myself. Read more

Thank you, Jamie Grumet

Jamie is an AP (attachment parenting) mom and was on the cover of Time magazine this past May, openly nursing her four year old son. While I did not read the story because I’ve just plain old learned from years of experience that mainstream news is not what I like to read, I was still very much aware of the brouhaha it caused. Apparently there’s lots of folks out there who find nursing offensive (ok, I knew that) and nursing a child beyond infancy downright abnormal. I also caught wind of folks who felt enormous guilt because they were not in alignment with nursing, extended nursing or stay-at-home mothering, which AP, of course, requires (you can’t be “attached” to a child if you’re working or they are in someone else’s care). Oh well, I can’t control anyone else’s thinking or believing or actions, but it gave me an opportunity to feel a soft, comfortable gratitude that I had had the profound benefit of AP with my three children and allowed my whole world to shift as a result. And, honestly, I was grateful to Jamie for being willing to expose herself to millions of readers … and Time magazine for choosing attachment parenting as their cover story (even though I know the motive was sensationalism which sells magazines, duh). Read more

competition vs. COMPETITION

I have tried but just can’t let this olympic season play itself out without voicing my opinion. I hate the Olympics. Hate should be capitalized, and I don’t even believe in hate. I believe in love but there is just not a single thing to love about this hideous tradition in sports. Read more

LIberation from Education

Do I honestly think education is a bad thing? No, of course I don’t. I just want it redefined.

Virtually everyone would agree that this thing called education is a requirement for living in the world, unless we prefer a solitary life on the top of a mountain communing with animals and spirits. (hey, that’s not a bad idea!) And education, after all, is nothing more than information, right? And the information we each take in will vary from person to person, as a function of each’s interests, past experience, dreams, inclinations, etc. Even when we’re trying to force feed education, as in assignments, classroom, coursework, etc., each person is still only learning what they are inclined to learn.

Conduct this experiment anywhere, anytime: take 10 people to play at the park, to a local museum, out to eat at a restaurant, to the library… whatever…wherever. Leave each person alone and free to observe, act, meet others, eat as they choose. Gather together, after the outing, and compare notes: I am certain you will discover the huge range of thoughts, interests, preferences, and of course, learning, that took place. No two people will emerge from an outing of any kind with the same “world view” on what took place, what they felt, what they learned, what they want to do more of. If you gave a test afterward, how could you even begin to determine what was valuable, much less to everyone … and what gives you the right to think your notions of “what should have been learned” are important or valuable anyway? How about asking each person instead what they felt was important or valuable to them about the outing. Let go of your preconceived ideas about right and wrong and realize that what each finds important IS important.

If you are a parent or a teacher, use each person’s guide of what’s important to help you continue to nurture that. For the person who met new friends and wants to see them again, honor the learning that takes place through friendship and interpersonal communication. For the one who loved all the details of the bugs and leaves or colors of the paintings, nurture their interest and curiosity in nature or art. For the one who preferred to just sit alone and daydream or read a book, get them more books or more daydreaming time! All doors to exciting opportunity, invaluable exploration and self discovery open when we are free to move about the world in thought and action with freedom-to-be.

This is just as true for teens and adults as it is for young children. Follow the interest, one step at a time and watch as doors open with options for incredible learning and growth and sustainability on whatever level is right for you.

When people have the freedom to immerse themselves in the things, people and places that are of genuine interest and value to them – whether you agree or understand it at all – they are growing, learning, blossoming, thinking… and becoming thoughtful and intelligent, resourceful and respectful of self and others. They are learning on their own terms how wonderful life is, how much there is to enjoy, what love is and what it feels like. These are the inspired benefits of education. And inspired education that can only take place when the learner is in charge.