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Posts tagged ‘Rethinking Everything- PARENT’

God Loves Me Sometimes

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photo by Sarah E. Parent

Barb:
I have a sweet little friend in my life that lives nearby. She is just 7 years old and likes my dog and me and we take walks together. She is always happy and excited and she talks constantly. On a recent mile walk together she told me she had two birthdays. TWO birthdays!? I said. Yeah, I am 7 years old and 2 God-years old, she said. What is a God-year? I asked. I accepted God into my life 2 years ago so that is when I was born to God, she said. You mean you were not a real person to God until then? I asked. No! I was dead to God until I told him I loved him and accepted him in my life, she said. Read more

Presence… Controlled By Our Past?

Reflection Challenge -sooc
photo courtesy of bahamamadreamer

Barb:

I am in the middle of yet another autobiography, my favorite reading material. Right now in the story I am immersed in the author’s childhood and finding myself feeling really uncomfortable as her replay reminds me of my own. I am dissecting this discomfort deeper than I have before and discovering a fresh take on it. Read more

Truth and Consequences

tree trunk heart
photo by Sarah E. Parent

Sarah:
There’s a great conversation to be had about consequences. In fact, I’ve had more than one with friends, at conferences, and on the phone. It has become clear in these interactions that the term ‘consequences’ can be interpreted, or misinterpreted as the case may be, in different ways. In my unfolding as a mother and, indeed, as a person, the comfort of camaraderie has been sought, found, outgrown, and cherished – not necessarily in that order and varying according to the experience. What I have found with regard to the subject of consequences is that there is a distinct difference between the intent and style of those who recognize consequences and those who use consequences. Read more

Why I Taught My Children To Talk Back

Black Phoebe composition manipulation composite_bird

photo courtesy of Mike Baird

Barb:

When my kids were kids, as young as 3 to 5, it bugged the hell out of me when they would do what I said. Ok, go ahead and read that again.

Oh sure, I was happy enough when we’d all finish eating, for example, and I’d say please bring your plates to the sink and they would do it. The easy stuff. What really got to me was when I would ask them to do something, like clean up their toys or their room or help me with a chore or go brush their teeth and … I could sense immediately that they did not want to do what I had asked them to do … and they would begin to do it anyway, despite what their feelings were about it. THIS is what bugged me. It felt like abuse to me. I know how I feel when someone asks me to do something I don’t want to do … and I certainly don’t want to do it just to please them (doing things to please others because it feels good is a completely different type of act). Read more

Unassisted Birth- an old, new practice

Birth

photo courtesy of mandypics

Sarah:

I know I’ve mentioned this before but, for the purposes of this post, I’ll remind you. I was a labor and delivery nurse in my 20s and early(ier) 30s. I loved my profession and still have very fond memories of the time and care I put in and the fulfillment it created for me. I knew what I knew when I knew it. And I gave it my mind and my heart. During those years, we would periodically have a mom come in having attempted a homebirth or post-homebirth with an issue that required, or at least was perceived to have required, medical attention. I’ll admit, we nurses shook our heads disapprovingly at these women. Didn’t they know that a hospital or birth center was the place to birth?

Then I had both of my babies in the hospital with absolutely no intervention – no IV (or saline lock), my own labor and birthing positioning, fetal heart rate checks when I requested (rather than the serious over-monitoring to which we were prone), eating and drinking as desired, both babies immediately to my breast for feeding, etc. Everything changed. I began to question my practice as a nurse and whether I was doing more harm than good. I resigned while on maternity leave with my second child and began working at a hospital noted for their evidence-based practice model. This meant not practicing out of fear but based on the actual evidence that birth is a natural occurrence and that we serve as observers, supporters, and caregivers of the process – intervening only when absolutely necessary or requested by the mother.

My thoughts on birth have definitely evolved over time and the more I talk with mothers, fathers, doulas, and midwives. I had come to love the idea of homebirths attended by midwives and relinquished my need to play the professional savior when people chose pregnancy, labor, or birthing modalities that seemed foreign for me. I have to admit, however, that Inok Alrutz’s birth story in RE- PARENT’s Issue One floored me. This was the opposite of everything I had been trained to practice as a labor nurse. I squirmed as I read. Fear came forth and I wanted someone with objective experience in birth to intervene.

I know the primary truth of birth, though, which Inok finds in the process – the power of presence, the power of knowing, the strength and power of the birthing woman. I have seen fear change an issue-free birth into a nightmare scenario and I have seen strength, power, and fortitude of spirit – against all medical odds – create the most beautiful and transformational experience for a partnership as they bring their new baby forth. I know that this experience has made Inok who she will be as a mother – trusting of herself, powerful, present, and determined.

 

Barb:

All three of my kids were born at home and the last was unassisted, so my thoughts on reading Inok’s story were definitely not shock but gratitude and inspiration and empathy. I was powerfully empathetic as I imagined her fear and pain, birthing for the first time and not according to her ‘master plan.’ I was deeply inspired by her inner wisdom on birth and her and her baby’s natural ability to ‘figure this out’ without intervention. I am grateful, even now, every day, for the gift she has brought into the world and her own gift to all of us of her empowerment. Yes, I absolutely believe with every cell of my being that such gifts affect and effect us all in profound ways. Thank you Inok for knowing, for listening, for paying attention to your inner voice, your inherent wisdom, your natural and sublime ability to be a connected mother.

Rethinking Everything- PARENT

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Unlearning Adultism

Great Grampa

Sarah:

Hello. My name is Sarah and I’m a recovering adultist. Before our children were born, my husband and I were the best backseat parents out there. We firmly believed that children should have a ‘healthy fear’ of their parents and intended to use the ‘wait till your dad gets home’ method of parenting. But our children kicked our intuitive selves into high gear with their births and their amazing and beautiful development and innate sense of themselves. We listened, learned, researched, talked, and acted according to this new awareness that our children were not an extension of ourselves but rather individuals who deserved and needed respect and nurturance of their independent growth. Our vision of our relationship with our children was one of mutual respect and joy. To maintain this, we knew we needed to shift our perspectives and act in a way that fostered this desire. Read more

Get Ready for Rethinking Everything- PARENT!

2012 is upon us!

And so is the release of our very first magazine as Rethinking Everything Publishing.
Rethinking Everything Magazine, after two years of bold, edgy, exciting rethinking, has blossomed into three separate and distinct publications.

But you knew that, right?!

Rethinking Everything- PARENT   ::   publishes January 1st, April 1st, July 1st, and October 1st
Rethinking Everything- LIFE   ::   publishes February 1st, May 1st, August 1st, and November 1st
Rethinking Everything- SEX   ::   publishes March 1st, June 1st, September 1st, and December 1st

We are excited to offer them all absolutely FREE!

 
RE-Parent-Issue-One-Cover

We’re ringing in the New Year with
                 beautiful pages that touch the soul and
                                FOUR stories bound to rock your world.

 
teresaTeresa Graham Brett of Parenting for Social Change brings us her personal story of recognizing the hypocrisy of traditional parenting and forging new relationships with children based in love, respect, and equality in Unlearning Adultism.
daynablogDayna Martin – world reknowned advocate for radical unschooling – shares private and powerful moments of life in a co-sleeping family in The Sacred Flow of the Family Bed.
inok resizeInok Alrutz paints the moment by moment memories of her bold, painful, emotional, empowering, and evocative journey into motherhood in Birth of a Universe.
LauraLaura Grace Weldon – blog maven, writer, farmer, and mom – kicks fear to the curb and hands the power of consequences to her kids in What the French Revolution Taught Me about Parenting.

 

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Let us know what you’re rethinking.  We’d love to work with you.

 

 

Energy is Contagious.

Protests. News reports. Anger. Resistance. Victim mentality. Peace.

Sarah:
We don’t watch T.V. We have a T.V. We just don’t watch it as such. There are channels to which the children are loyal for children’s programming and documentaries. We watch movies and stream programs of interest to us. But we aren’t hooked up to the mainline of mainstream media. Oh, we’re fully aware when nationally and internationally significant issues arise. The internet news flashes and Facebook reels still keep us abreast. It’s difficult to escape entirely and escapism is not my goal.

I wonder, though, if these mainstream purveyors of fear and resistance along with protestors and angry citizens don’t actually encourage justice and peace but rather perpetuate more of the same hatred, fear, and victimization that are present in the stories. I have never felt more peace in my heart or experienced more noticeable peace in my world than since choosing not to participate in mainstream media on a consciously seeking level.

Last year, Barb and I ventured to Santa Cruz, California to participate in discussions with Joseph Chilton Pearce and Bruce Lipton about conscious evolution. Bruce’s focus on quantum physics brought to light the theory of the ‘tipping point’- a point at which there is such a massive collective of thought and energy going in one direction that all energy, action, and intention either follows or becomes distinctly separate such that the two are no longer intertwined. I strongly believe that our own personal focus on internal peace, wellness, and joy (which often reverberates quite strongly among those around us) contributes to bringing us to a global tipping point.

Some would say that this is avoiding the reality of political, racial, and social issues at hand. I would assert that I don’t resist, I persist- toward any and all intentions and actions that feel positive and growth-inspiring for myself and those around me.

Barb:
I couldn’t agree with you more here Sarah. At the risk of sounding hopelessly vacant, I will confess that I consciously gave up all ‘news’ over two years ago after reaching my own overload tipping point where I was having a hard time sleeping at night with all the thoughts I was having of women and children trapped in caves in Afghanistan. I thought a week break might be what I needed but two weeks into my news fast, I was loving not being immersed daily with the woes of our angry, violent and irrational culture. Quite unexpectedly, what I was discovering was that the absence of ‘news’ was creating a very real space in my head and psyche for the myriad things I really DID want to know more about and those things were now rushing in. I’m sleeping much better too. 

Peace
Sarah:
Ha! Hopelessly vacant is definitely not a way that I would describe you, Barb. Nor myself. Full is what I feel; full of love, inspiration, joy, and positive intention. I just don’t have the time, energy, or healthy cells to donate to anger and resistance. Knowing what we know about the direct link between our energies and our physical health, why would we order up some cancer with a side of persistent insomnia and migraines? We multiply our energies and their longevity in this life by focusing on creativity, connection, and love. Can this be done in a public way? Absolutely. Mahatma Gandhi did it. Martin Luther King, Jr. did it. There are many others, of course.

Just as I am aware that the school system is a fundamentally broken ideal and it is futile to try to ‘fix’ something that was never whole or useful, I understand that attempting to restore or construct ‘systems’ to alleviate oppression is a useless reality. I’ve had people tell me that because I am not part of the solution, I am part of the problem. I guess that is a matter of perception. A lack of resistance doesn’t indicate a lack of action. It is forward motion in a different direction. Fear is paralyzing.

Barb:
But you ARE part of the solution here, and an important one at that. If someone suggests that activism, for example, is making a greater contribution to solving a problem, I heartily disagree. Consider the energy of activism, even ‘peace’ activism. It is an energetic of anger, dislike, retaliation and victimization. Why would anyone choose to embody that energetic? It doesn’t feel good, it is not productive, it doesn’t allow for peaceful communication (or sleep) and it just attracts more angry people! Focusing on, in this example, what true peace you are capable of bringing to the world, whether it’s through your interactions with your children or others or simply meditating on the feelings and actions that ARE peaceful, while not driven by a need or desire to CHANGE anyone, are imminently more peaceful because the energetic of such thought and action IS peaceful and also results in more peaceful exchange around you.

For anyone doubting this, try this experiment: the next time you witness an angry brouhaha taking place between your kids, resist the impulse to step in, react with an outburst or lash out with a threat or ultimatum. Instead, take a slow and deep breath and very consciously step back from the situation, both trusting your kids’ ability to resolve the problem on their own and at the same time, finding a peaceful thought within yourself to dwell on for a few minutes (you can imagine your kids playing happily, picture them sleeping soundly, remember your last wonderful orgasm, you get the idea). See what happens.

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